Jun
10

The Hardest Decision I’ve Ever Made

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Proverbs 23:4-5 Do not wear yourself out to get rich; do not trust your own cleverness. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle.

1 Timothy 6:17-19 Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed.

Read through those one more time.

GOD will meet all your needs.

Cast but a GLANCE at riches and they’ll fly away.

We should fix our hope and our focus not on our money or financial state of being but on GOD, who richly supplies us with things for us to ENJOY.

I’ve tried to live my young life so far according to these verses. I grew up in a home where there was never really any extra money lying around. Like ever. But I never heard anything about money problems. It was never a huge point of stress for my parents (at least from what I could see as a young child), and we still ate three meals a day… had a roof over our heads… and I had a bed to go to sleep in at night. That was really all we needed. When we lived in Indiana, I got all my clothes from garage sales and Salvation Army and Goodwill and I really didn’t know any different. Our combined household income was probably something like $30,000… if that. But I had a happy, fulfilling, wonderful childhood and so many memories with my mom, dad, and sisters that it really makes absolutely no difference how much extra “comfortable” money we had.

So it’s understandble why I’m not really worried about money today as an almost-21-year-old. Don’t get me wrong… I try really hard to be responsible when it comes to saving and spending my money. I chose an in-state school close enough to home where I could commute and cut my college costs by more than half and not have to take out ANY student loans (shout out to my mom + dad for having a modest college fund of $40k for each of us girls). I’ve worked during almost all of my winter and summer breaks since graduating high school. I fostered a hobby that I really didn’t ever expect to make anything over a couple extra hundred dollars a year doing that eventually snowballed into a business. And I made the commitment a LONG time ago to save at least 70% of every dollar I ever earn. If I got an $800 paycheck, $650 would go straight into savings and I’d work with the $150 in my checking account for the next two weeks. I’ve made it a point while I’m young to save, save, save as much as I can for as long as I can while I don’t have very many serious financial commitments. I honestly didn’t know what to spend my money on, so I sat on it until I’d get brave enough to invest in something like a new lens… a new camera body… usually always something to do with photography. And a couple times a year, I’d treat myself to one really nice vacation and several cheaper, shorter trips away within driving distance. This has been my way of living for the past 3 or 4 years between the photography jobs here and there and my steady paychecks when I did have a part-time or full-time internship during school or on break.

Last Fall was my last semester as a junior in college, and I really didn’t believe that I could possibly ever do JUST photography without another job feeding me that steady paycheck. I had only booked a very small number of weddings that year, and I just didn’t want to take the next step of investing in the professional equipment I knew I needed to take my business to the next level. So I chickened out. I shot a few weddings and portrait sessions, blogged a few of them, shared on Facebook here and there, but in my mind had decided that I was going to use my business degree to climb the corporate ladder just like every normal college grad does. I attended a job fair on October 4th, had a few bites, and interviewed for a couple of positions. Unexpectedly, I received a job offer just a week later. And not just for a summer internship… they were offering me a $55,000 starting salary after graduation. As a college student wondering how post-college life was going to be… I was pretty blown away. $55k right out of school?! The interview I had gone in for just for the purpose of having my own interview practice had ended up looking pretty impressive!! I was going to be working retail, but for $17.50/hr for 10 weeks, oh well, right?

Flash forward 7 months to a week before I was supposed to start this internship. I had just shot my first DESTINATION wedding. I was shooting with my dream camera (5D Mark III) and L series lenses that I would have never imagined I’d even hold in my hand. I had just booked my 12th wedding since the turn of the year, and I was recieving inquires for weddings 10 months, one, two years down the road. I had attended a photography retreat where I cried my worst fears out in front of an incredible group of girls. And I was living my dream.

God. Did. Something. Amazing.

My deepest, innermost, wildest dream of being a world-traveling photographer was somehow starting to come true. And I was about to find out that this train was boarding NOW… and it’s an all-or-nothing ride. I knew I was supposed to be at my internship. I didn’t know how long, but I knew I was supposed to learn SOMETHING. It only took me 5 days to realize that if I’m going to pursue this dream of mine… I need to throw everything I am into it. I’m either going to climb the corporate ladder or blaze my own trail off the beaten path. I can’t do both. It took me less than a week – less than a day, really – to come to terms with that. And then I walked away from my internship and the promise of $55k and into the unknown because, well, I still could.

I had a choice. God always gives us a choice. I knew He was going to love me unconditionally no matter which path I chose… just like my dad, who told me “I love you bunches and support you in whatever you decide to do,” or my boyfriend who said, “Are you leaving this for photography? Good. Now go DO IT.” Or my best friend who told me I’m too passionate about taking pictures to let it go. Or my amazing mentor who gave me a hug and told me she admired me when I told her through tears that I knew this was what I knew was supposed to do.

So now, I may not have that guaranteed $55,000 annual income at the moment… but I do have this:

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THIS is what I love. THIS is what sets my heart on fire and gets me out of bed in the morning and puts a smile on my tired face after a week of sleep deprivation and exhaustion. THIS is what made me cry tears of joy this past Saturday after a week of hospital visits and devastating news. THIS is what had me wiping away tears and laughing because of the absolutely ridiculous level of contrast between how I felt in this wedding day moment and how I had felt all week on my 10-hour internship shifts. I laughed and cried as a peace came over me and I just knew that THIS is where I’m meant to be as 20-year-old me. I am still so young and so blessed to be able to soak in all this season of life has to offer me. And I’ve never felt such overwhelming relief than when I walked away from a place where my heart was not. And once again… I have food on the table, a roof over my head, a comfy bed to fall asleep in at night, and people who love me DEEPLY and believe in me more than I could ever believe in myself. THESE things are what make my life RICH. Not the promise of tomorrow’s exact dollar and cents amount. I am free to be the person I WANT to be… and I will continue to live freely and with a passion and love for all I do for as long as I possibly can.

Life is short. Chase after God by nurturing the desires He’s placed in your heart to glorify HIM and HE will take care of all the details in between… I made the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life this past week. I was brave and took a leap of faith. Now it’s your turn.

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24 Comments

  • Megan,
    Best decision ever! Blaze your trail! I walk away reading this as WOW, amazing entrepreneur chasing her dreams!

    Reply
  • Dear Megan, not very often do I get to read anything that makes me put my love for photography and my love for God in the same perspective. I want to say thank you, for being led and especially for obeying the voice of God that led you to write this. I am new in photography, a year this month and I would love to go full time as soon as I can….your words brought to light my missing link….. Thank you and keep the fire burning for God and wedding photography.

    Reply
    • This is WONDERFUL to hear!!! Keep challenging yourself to shoot more, learn more about your camera, get OUT THERE and try new things and the rest will take care of itself! It’s amazing how God can shine through our passions and the things we love to do most…!

      Reply
  • Hey Megan, you probably dont remember me because i was in 8th grade during your senior year, but this is the first post ive read on your blog and it honestly touched me. Not like the inspirational stories where we are supposed to say that it touched us, but it REALLY touched me. Your situation applies to so many more situations that have nothing to do with money and im happy i got to read it. Its crazy that im only a rising junior in high school with totally different interests, but im relating to a 20 year-old photographer. Thats how you know the core message of the situation is genuine. Anyone from any walk of life in any stage of their life can relate. Thank you! Keep posting, I’ll be reading more and congrats on following your dream! Never give up on it! I was once told that if you never waiver in the things you love, all that will follow is blessings!

    Reply
    • Wow Tyler… thanks for saying this! I feel so humbled… it’s crazy how God works sometimes! I love that you can relate to this! :)

      Reply
  • Megan, you photographed my daughter’s wedding, and your passion and talent shines through every photograph! These pictures are such a beautiful keepsake of a precious day for us, thank you for capturing the love and joy of that day! So very happy to see you are pursuing a God given talent.

    Reply
    • Thanks for all of your encouragement, Judy! I LOVED being a part of Rome & Sarah’s day… they had such a beautiful wedding filled with so much love between each other and their family & friends! I’m so honored to have captured that day for you all! Hope to see you soon!!

      Reply
  • Megan, I don’t even know you, but I soon will because on July 26, you will be making a beautiful video of my daughter’s wedding….. After reading your blog I can say that I do “kinda” know you…. I know all I need to know about you… The important stuff, like how your heart beats for love; love of family and friends, love for the journey of life, a passion for photography and most important, your love of the true source of it all… Your God. I can already tell you, you made the right decision. And not just because now you can be with us on our special day! But because you are following your hearts’ desire; your hearts’ dream. You will bring a beautiful smile not just to your own face, but to all the faces that you will be photographing in the years to come! Your mom would be so proud of you… And I am proud of you too! God Bless You!

    Reply
    • Awww, thank you Reine! You are so sweet! I think we might actually have already met at some point in life through the Myers family… who knows! I remember hearing all about Fishers from Miranda growing up! How wonderful that I’m going to get to be there on Tara’s wedding day!! I can’t WAIT! Thank you so much for your sweet words! You seem like the most amazing mom! Can’t wait to see you next month!!

      Reply
  • Thank you SO MUCH for posting this and sharing your heart!!! I am currently working a 9-5 job in the “business” world and shooting weddings on the weekends. I want to shoot weddings full time soooo badly, and want to quit my day job next spring, but I’m terrified! Thank you for letting The Lord use you as an encouragement to others. You may never know how much it means. :)

    Reply
    • I encourage you to keep praying and seeking God’s counsel and wisdom in your every day life… my pastor once told me that God speaks to us in three ways: 1) directly to us, 2) through His Word, and 3) through others. Pray that you would have peace and guidance on this decision and be observant of what you’re reading in scripture and what others are encouraging you to do. Take some time to be still and listen every day to what God is speaking to your soul. I’m so glad I’m able to be a source of encouragement to you! Follow your dreams but use the wisdom and discretion God has given you to make the BEST decision for you in your now! Good luck!! <3

      Reply
  • I read this from what you shared in a facebook group we are both in – Amazingly written and you are totally in the same spot as I am, and this post helped encourage me to do what I love! Thanks Megan!

    Reply
    • Yay!! So happy to hear! It’s amazing how God has brought so many of us together through photography to support and love on each other. Hope I get to meet you someday!

      Reply
  • Yay!! Congratulations!! I’m so excited for you! I know that God has great and BIG plans for you! I’m so inspired and encouraged by your story!

    Reply
    • Thanks Katie! I was waiting for your comment :) I love how much you believe in me and my work! Thanks girl!!

      Reply
  • SO proud of you sis!!! I see so much future for you in this because of your determination and your grounding in the Lord’s promises!!! love you!

    Reply
    • Thanks Emmy!!! I treasure your words!

      By the way, did I see that you’re running a half marathon…?!?! Now THAT’S determination! :)

      Reply
  • This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read. Everything you wrote resonates so deeply with me… I’m pretty sure we’re soulmates. ;) Thank you so much for writing this post!! I needed this.

    Reply
    • Ah! You are too sweet! We probably ARE soul mates….. God handpicked each one of us Delight girls remember ;)

      Reply
  • I am so very proud of you and your thoughtful and prayerful way you have approached this life’s journey. Know that God has gone before you and prepared the place for you, both in the distant future but also on this earth today. His Word says that He orders the steps of the righteous, He desires to light the way, in fact a Psalm says that His Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. He not only wants you to succeed, He wants you to prosper even as your soul (spiritual understanding and relationship) prospers.

    I won’t say “You’ve got this” but I will say “He’s got this.”

    The Todd Squad loves you, your family and has prayed for you guys for a very long time.

    Reply
    • Thank you thank you thank you!!! You’re awesome, Todd family! Your prayers are so appreciated and I LOVE that “He’s got this” part :) So many times in life that we realize that when everything seems to be going wrong and there’s nothing we can do but let Him take control…

      Reply
  • Your business is really taking off and you’re doing something you love…do it now while you’re young and relatively responsibility-free! There’s always time to work for ‘the man’ later if things don’t work out!

    Reply

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